Random · Ramblings

In order to avoid dramaz I'm not doing what my gut is telling me I should do and that's what's driving me insane.

To sum it up, as it was a very long ass dream, Jon was in my dream and we were searching for Peter. Jon was driving and we were talking and I asked him how he was doing. He said that things were not going well and he mentioned a girl named Amanda (I assume his girlfriend or most recent ex in the dream...iono as he hasn't spoken/messged me in like 4 years). He said that he was in pain. I literally felt like my heart got ripped out.

Now don't me wrong. I'm not all "I'm in love with my ex" or something along those lines, but I still care for him deeply (how could I not when I loved him so completely?). I would still do anything for him if he needed me. I wouldn't even ask why he hadn't bothered keeping in touch, I'd just be there.

That being said I've been desperately fighting the temptation to message him asking him if he's ok. As I think it would be incredibly weird and stalkerish. The last thing I want to do is alienate him.

So that's why I'm fighting myself internally. I know I would only make his situation worse as he'll probably be freaked out by me. But it's really hard wanting to help someone and knowing that you're utterly powerless.

__________________________________________

We're too late, we're too late
Release the rigging

No one uses the phone anymore
The tracks are wrecked and the odometer's ticking
The edge is pushed and the lines are melting
Too scared to look at what I hear outside
Release

We're too late

Protect, embrace, engulf
Remember the summer in Abaddon
Protect, enslave, in love
Remember the summer in Abaddon

Way offsides and I'm almost empty
I'm cracked and stripped like a domino's crush
Send a tell if you're ever near me
I'm A.F.K and I can't get by
Release me

This vessel's underway
Secure the rigging, we're headed south
Tack the sails, man the posts
We're headed south into the wind

Protect, embrace, engulf
Remember the summer in Abaddon
Protect, enslave, in love
Remember the summer in Abaddon

(We're too late)

Protect, embrace, engulf
Remember, the summer, in Abaddon
Protect, enslave, in love
Remember, the summer, in Abaddon

No one hears you fall to the floor
The mirror's broke and the newtonian's clicking
The finds are pressed and the veins are pumping
Too far gone to do more than breathe
Release me

This vessels underway
Headed south

Miles and miles of telephone poles
Fallen and tossed around
I can't talk to you anymore
And I miss you
And I miss you
Not in this little way, but I miss you

Seldom to touch far away from here
Even if I'm released
I can't talk to you anymore
And I miss you
And I miss you
Not in this little way, but I miss you

My head is very itchy.

Also, I <3 Joan Jett. Next time I go to Karaoke I'm going to sing Crimson & Clover or depending if I'm drunk enough Do you want to touch me?...oh it will be good.

Iono when that'll happen though as bar scenes will be unlikely for a while with that group of friends as one of them is preggers. D:<

I have my midterm tomorrow/today (as it is almost midnight). I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. It's awesome!

LONDON UPDATE:
I have my appointment booked for my Visa stuff on Monday the 17th. We're going to be spending the weekend up there so I'm excited about that. Peter can be a love bug sometimes so I'm hoping for a surprise...maybe if I'm good.

Tomorrow I am going to brush up on my facts while I shave and beautify myself. I want to feel good about myself walking into the midterm. I figure the more confident I am the better.

Peter has twisted my arm into watching FMP (Full Metal Panic for all of you not as nerdy as me). I lorves it. I'm just in that kind of mood I guess. I lorved the Twilight series so I guess this makes sense. Sadly, I've finished all the series and the next book doesn't come out until August (I pre-ordered it though!). D: Owain got me started on His Dark Materials series (The Golden Compass etc.) and so far I agree with him that it's an excellent read/story. Cannot wait to finish it.

Shannon, keep on posting love. I do read your stuff btw even if I don't post all the time.

Peter is chill with me moving there which is nice. No worries about that then. Of course there's going to be a little bit of loneliness but that doesn't bother me. Sometimes it's good to get out and be by yourself. Obviously I won't be completely by myself as I will be living with my father but frankly that's not the same.  I think this is a great chance for me to grow as a person. Me time.

I have high hopes about this.

Also, I must apologize to the people who actually read my LJ. I have not been fatihful in my updates. Partially due to my schedule but mostly due to lack of news. In the last little bit though I have had a downfall of news.

Firstly, I am no longer working at Roofmart. This brings me so much joy it is hard to express it clearly. This year has been full of positive changes like this and I am incredibly grateful for it. Though it wasn't my idea to leave I am happy as I see this as something that needed to happen.

Secondly, I was recently the victim of those debit card scams that are hitting the city. The bank caught it immediately and let me know. It's getting sorted out right now but it had rattled my cage a little bit. I think anyone can appreciate how upsetting it would be to have fraudulent transactions on their bank account.

Lastly, Peter and I have adopted a baby kitty. His name is Sampson and he is an absolute doll. If you pick him up he simply melts in your hands and starts his motor. Star is so far unimprssed but she is slowly warming up to him as both cuddle with me in bed. Speaking of Star she has created a bed for herself in front of my computer. It is rather adorable.

Well that's it, until next quarter (as it appears to be my habit to post four times a year).

Some of these are just too well placed. >_> iTunes is the devil

Happy Hour- The Promise Ring

Hey, Hey, where are we living now,
from witching to happy hour
Which is hours and hours away from here
And god, all of these ears and eyes,
familiar faces and family ties
Which is ours and ours alone

Where are we living now, where are we living now
Where are we living now, where are we living now

Hey J, I'm unraveling.
I might be on this next train,
which may or which may or not come in
JoAnn says, "follow your hands"
she knows that, they understand
that you don't know you don't remember

Where are we living now, where are we living now
Where are we living now, where are we living now

Hey, Hey, where are we living now,
from witching to happy hour
Which is hours and hours away from here
And god, all of these ears and eyes,
familiar faces and family ties
Which is ours and ours and ours alone

Where are we living now, where are we living now
Where are we living now, where are we living now

Where are we living now, where are we living now
Where are we living now, where are we living now

yeah, yeah, where are we now?
yeah, yeah, come on now
yeah, yeah, where are we now?
yeah, yeah, come on now
yeah, yeah, where are we now?
yeah, yeah, come on now
yeah, come on, yeah come on, yeah come on
yeah come on

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Movie:
5. Favourite Song or Album:
6. Favourite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favourite memory of us?
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they :
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school:
22. Describe your accent -
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27.If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you haveno idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you? (assuming I am not asleep in a corner somewhere)

I got a car. I get it next wednesday, I will take pictures. It's fab and it's name is Mrs. T. <3

Bad surprise, Adele creating DRAMA.

The car rocks. I plan on painting it purple and redoing the interior with cheetah, zebra or cowprint (since it's cowtown). I <3s it.

Everyone, your goal for the next month is to think positive. If something shitty happens or you feel bad automatically think about something you love (a boyfriend, a teddy bear, those new shoes) anything. DO IT. I COMMAND YOU.

You'll thank me later.

Plans for tonight; study study while I cook cook.

Drinking 3 litres of water a day is starting to take its effect O_O!

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